In February, my grandmother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer. The 5-year survival rate for this cancer is 6%. The original tumor in her colon was removed with surgery as were the tumors on her ovaries. However, the cancer had spread to her liver by the time it was caught and she had well over 20 tumors. At first, she was very resistant to treatment - almost feeling that it wasn't worth it. My entire family prayed that she would change her mind and go through with chemo. We all had faith that she could fight this. Our prayers were answered and she decided to accept treatment. Over the last three months, she has battled extreme weight loss and fatigue, loss of appetite, blood clots, and numerous other setbacks. She has been so sick that we were convinced there was no way she was getting better.
My grandmother is only 65 years old. I, and the majority of my family, had become convinced that she was dying. That's what we saw when we looked at her - in her attitude, in her health, and in her "visible" response to treatment. I had tried to mentally prepare myself for this. Telling myself that as much as I wanted her to be alive, there comes a time for everyone to go to heaven. For my own selfish reasons I wanted her to keep fighting at all costs. I want her to be alive to see me get engaged, get married, and hopefully to see the little girl I someday want to name after her. However, I didn't and don't want her to suffer. So I thought it was maybe best to quit chemo because I wasn't prepared for the effects it would have on my poor grandma.
I am so thankful that God is answering my prayers and not giving up even when I was ready to. Yesterday, my grandma went to the hospital for her first PET Scan since chemo. Of her original 20 tumors, she now has 9. One of her largest tumors has completely disappeared. It turns out that despite all the struggles, she has responded to treatment and is getting better. She still has a long journey ahead of her but now she's stronger because she knows she has hope.
So today, I am thankful for my grandmother, for her beginning to heal and to God for answering my prayers despite my lapse in faith. He truly knows me much better than I know myself.
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