Back to School... Or Not

Alright, I've got a weekend update all planned, but I think it needs to wait until tomorrow. This is more important:

Today is the day that I would have gone back to work had I stayed in North Carolina and kept my teaching job. I would spend all day in meetings and frantically plan out my classroom for the year. Dragging around tables, chairs, and desks just to move them again at some other point this week. I would arrive at school no later than 7:00 AM and most likely leave at or after sunset. I would scrub and clean and put up bulletin boards and decorations to make my classroom welcoming for my new 1st Grade babies. Some of them I would know from last year, when I was their kindergarten teacher, and some of them would be brand new. I would lesson plan, prepare all sorts of centers and materials. I'd see all my teacher friends and get to know the new teachers and I would spend all week as sleepless and excited as the kids I would be preparing to teach. I'd be starting my second year of teaching.

But I'm not doing that. Instead, I'm going back to work tomorrow at Marley Lilly, working retail. Later, I'm cleaning up my apartment and cooking dinner for my fiance and I. I'm spending the night and every night next to him. I get to see him every day and share in all sorts of memories with him that wouldn't exist if I still lived in North Carolina. I've spent much of this summer wondering why no one wanted to hire me, I had good references, I had great reviews, and I was a wonderful teacher. I have prayed for God to give me what I wanted, not what he wants, and have been angry and doubted his plan for me. Then I realized that He did give me what I wanted and what he wanted me to have at this moment in my life: a future with Brad. My wonderful fiance finally proposed and we are in the middle of planning our wedding and our future together. Teaching just isn't in the plan for right now, but that doesn't mean it's out of the plan for good. And I'm finally at peace with that.

There weren't enough teaching jobs for me this year, that doesn't mean I wasn't wanted. But there was a job for me and many people don't even get that. This week I was reminded of the feeling I experienced right before being offered my teaching job last year and thought I would share it in case anyone is going through the same situation I went through this summer. And I'll go ahead and apologize for the length:

Last year when I was job searching, I felt like the search was endless and like I would never find a job (deja vu, much?). I went on 4 interviews before interviewing at the school I would later be offered a job at and 1 interview after that, a total of 6 interviews. Before each interview, I would ask God to give me the job he wanted me to have and the courage/strength to move on if it weren't the job for me. The only interview I forgot this prayer at was for the interview at Eastover, where I would later work. I felt awesome after this interview and after it was over, I was driving down the road heading to my second interview that day when I realized I had forgotten to pray. I quickly said a little prayer, the same one I said every time, but this time I asked for a sign from God to show me the right school and job for me.

 

Y'all, I grew up attending church literally every time the doors were open, Sunday mornings/evenings, Wednesday nights, VBS, Gospel meetings, and I have NEVER in my life believed in signs from God. I clearly believe in the power of prayer, but I'm more of a believer in God giving people talents and opportunities and working through people, not being so blatantly obvious in His power and presence. I have no idea what possessed me to ask for a sign that day, but I did. I'm not kidding when I say that no less than 10 minutes after I said this prayer I got a phone call from the principal at Eastover offering me a Kindergarten teaching position. I asked for time to think about it as I had another interview, I was never offered a job there but I had a terrible feeling about that school afterwards and knew I didn't want to work there. I called Eastover back immediately after that interview and accepted the job. The rest is history.

 

I think God showed me that sign because it's the only time in my life (other than lately) that I've ever felt my faith falter a little bit. And I think that He reminded me of that moment because I have been experiencing many of the same feelings I had last summer. I don't know if He will ever act in such an obvious way in my life again, but I'm glad I'll always have that reminder for times when I'm feeling doubtful. I have yet to experience that same feeling at either of the schools I interviewed at in Greenville and that's because they weren't for me. For now I'll just trust in God's timing, FINALLY, and believe that what's happening now is all apart of His plan and purpose for me and aside from not teaching, it's pretty perfect.

 

 

And just as a reminder of how much I learned last school year and how blessed my life really is, here I am with my assistant, Susan, and all our kiddos on the last day of school this past school year: